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| How To Look Attractive, Learn From Former FBI Agents |
How To Look Attractive, Learn From Former FBI Agents. How to look attractive doesn't mean you have to look modern because looking attractive means that you open yourself up to be easy to get along with and make friends with anyone.
How To Look Attractive, Learn From Former FBI Agents, You Can Try
If you learn how to look good from a celebrity, that's normal, but if you learn from a former FBI agent then this is great. What's so special about learning from former FBI agent Jack Schafer?
Special, because he shared knowledge from his experiences while still active in the FBI. Jack Schafer, from his experience, became a person who could appear attractive and gain sympathy from others.
In other words, Jack can make people comfortable talking freely, even at the extreme he can turn "opponents" into "friends". You must know for yourself what the "FBI" world is like.
All that he tells in detail in his book entitled: "The Like Switch". This time I will discuss some knowledge that you can practice right now from Jack's book.
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| How To Look Attractive, Learn From Former FBI Agents |
Let's start the discussion first with "Friendship Signals" as a way to appear attractive expressed by Jack.
Friendship Signals
What exactly is a sign of friendship? These signals are nonverbal language that you can use to increase the likelihood that other people will notice you in a positive way.
Actually there are lots of friendship signals that you can choose from, but to make it easier you can use the following 3 friendship signals.
With these 3 signals, you can signal to others that you are a fun person and deserve to be friends. Three friendship signals are "Eyebrow Flash, Smile and Tilt Head".
1. "An Eyebrow Flash" is a rapid up and down movement of the eyebrows that lasts about one-sixth of a second. Let's use Jack's term by referring to it as "Eyebrow Flash" for easy recall.
Some of you may often do Eyebrow Flash every day when meeting close friends. Your Eyebrow Flash will activate automatically even if sometimes you don't notice it.
Typically, two people who have been friends for a long time within five to six feet will send each other an Eyebrow Flash signal as a nonverbal form of communication indicating that they are friends, not enemies.
Not only that, two people who have just met will send each other signals as a sign that they are willing to be friends. If you don't believe it, you can start now to pay attention to how the two people first met in the office or other social environment.
They will use the Eyebrow Flash greeting when there is an introduction that is sometimes difficult to observe. Therefore, do an Eyebrow Flash and practice it so that your Eyebrow Flash is natural and doesn't actually scare other people.
How about Eyebrow Flash, more or less you can see an example in the following video:
2. Smile. Of course, not all Eyebrow Flashes are friendly signs because you can sense which Brow Flashes are friendly and which are genuinely angry. So, what are other friendship cues that could signal your friendliness? Another signal is a smile.
A smile is a sign of friendship and a powerful way to appear attractive because a smile reflects confidence, happiness, enthusiasm and most importantly openness. In addition, a smile will make your body work to release endorphins, hormones that make you feel good.
Other people who want to smile back at you will also release endorphins that work in the same way to make their bodies feel good. However, the only problem with smiling is the “fake smile” and this is not the way to look good.
If you just fake a smile or a forced smile, it's a sign that you, or the other person with the fake smile, doesn't want to open up or be interested in making friends. Therefore, you should avoid fake smiles because other people can tell if your smile is genuine and genuine or just a fake smile.
Practice a lot to smile with a genuine and genuine smile. Why do you have to practice so much?
Because sometimes you can't give a genuine smile not because you don't want to be friends, but because you have other factors that affect you, such as fatigue, or a bad mood. If that's the case, the tip for you is to think only of your happy moment, amplify that moment so that you can give your sincere and beautiful smile.
The more you practice your genuine smile, the better other people will signal you which you can then use as you see fit.
3. Tilt Head, Tilting your head slightly to the right or to the left is another sign that you're not coming off as threatening. You're tilting your head, meaning you're not present as a person who threatens or feels threatened.
Because, people who threaten and are threatened will definitely protect their heads and necks. By opening up and tilting your head slightly, a reading signal is that you are perceived as a more trustworthy and attractive person.
Making Empathetic statement
Once you understand correctly about friendship signals through "Eyebrow Flash, Smile and Tilt Head", the next step is how you make a good impression at the beginning.
Therefore, a good impression at the beginning is the fulcrum of how you can appear attractive in front of anyone. Jack makes an important note at this stage to remember: "If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves."
To achieve this, Jack provides a secret with what he refers to as: Empathic Statements. With Empathic Statements, you start each conversation based on what you see, feel, and hear from the person you're talking to.
To build an empathetic statement, you focus on seeing and feeling closely what the other person is comfortable with themselves.
What are some examples and how do you build those empathetic statements? There are many ways to do this, but the basic formula is that you start by exploring what makes the first person meeting you comfortable.
For example, if you meet someone who is wearing clothes with certain characteristics, then you can make an empathetic statement based on that fact.
- Examples and Illustrations of Empathetic statement
For example, let's say you meet someone wearing a rock band T-shirt, so you can start the conversation with a statement of empathy. Like: “Hello, looks like you're a rock fan,” you say when making an empathetic statement. It could be that your interlocutor will say, "Yes, I'm a Rock fan", so from here you can continue your discussion.
Even if the other person says, "No, this is my friend's t-shirt," you can still continue the conversation. So how do you keep the conversation going? Read on until the end of my article.
But before that, you should be able to notice that every time you make an empathetic statement, avoid repeating every answer from the other person.
For example, let's return to the illustration of the "Rock" t-shirt. When your interlocutor says, "I'm a rock fan". You shouldn't answer simply by repeating, "Oh you're a Rock fan." Repeating such a momentary statement will only make the other person feel uncomfortable.
Remember the rule that if you want people to like you, make them feel good. Well, after that, once you've made an empathetic statement, you move on to what's called Equation Building.
Law of Equation
Presumably you have to realize that everyone can have the same views, attitudes, hobbies, and activities with each other. That's why, there are communities, there are associations, there are people with the same interests building friendships with each other.
All of this happens because there are the same interests, the same views, the same principles and beliefs. This is what is meant by the Law of Equation. If two people don't know each other at first, but then find something in common as they talk, it's usually close.
This is how you build comfort with your interlocutor by building Equations. Okay, then Jack adds that to build Equations you can use the following tactics:
- Current Experience
Current Experience is how you build the Law of Commonality with people you just meet through sharing an interest or passion for the same thing.
Okay, for clarity I will give an example like this: Suppose when you meet someone who wears a shirt with the logo of a sports club. And if, you are also a fan of that sports club, then you and that person can share your interest and interest about the sports club.
You talk about what you like, he likes, what you like and how he likes it too, what was your favorite moment when you watched a sports club game and he loved it.
In this way, you have established the Law of Equality to make others feel comfortable with it. Back again to the question, what if it turns out he is a fan of the sports club and you are not a fan of the sports club?
The good thing is, you have extensive knowledge of the sports the club plays, so the conversation can continue because you know who and how the sports club players are even if you are not a fan.
Or at least, you have a general knowledge of Sports, so your discussion can continue to talk about sports.
For example the following conversation:John: Hi, I'm John. Your name?Doe: I'm Doe.John: So, Doe, you are a sports club fan? (empathetic statement)Doe : Yes, I have been a fan of this sports club all my life.John: I also like Sports. (if you don't understand sports clubs, you can try to switch to general conversation)
Furthermore, John continued to observe Doe's answer, until he was able to formulate the Law of Equations.
- Representative Experience
Another way of establishing the Law of Equation is to use Representative Experience. In this way, you build commonalities through the experiences of representatives of people close to you: parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, friends, and so on to establish commonalities.
This approach is very effective because you may know very little about your rep's experience, but from there you can dig deeper into the knowledge of the person you're talking to. Usually, other people will be very comfortable when they talk about what they like and what they know better. It is not like that?
So you use your rep's experience to dig deep and keep the other person talking. It's as if you gave the initial push and then let the other person tell you from there. You continue to observe and look for other similarities.
I will give an example like this:John: Hi, I'm John. Your name?Doe: I'm Doe.John: Doe, where do you work? I am Investor.Doe : Wow, very interesting. (empathetic statement), My uncle is also an investor.
Again, keep an eye on each answer, being careful not to just repeat but do repetitions, statements, questions to stay comfortable. However, avoid making up false stories, because other people will know that you are lying.
- Specific Time Experience
The third way to build the Law of Equation is to use the Time Experience strategy. There are certain times when you and the person you're talking to have something in common: they both went to the same school, lived in the same area, or had the same experience and so on.
More Cool Stuff: How to Heal Your Feelings After Being Hurt by Others
You can also use these things to build the Law of Equality. The important thing is that you always remember: "If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves." Let the similarities be established by a specific current, representative or time cause.
Love
Love stands for Listen, Observe, Voice, Empathize. Here's my little discussion about the rules of LOVE:
1. Listen, People like people who are willing to let them talk, especially if it's about themselves. Therefore, giving someone a chance to talk and you to hear what they have to say without interruption can make you appear attractive and always look forward to.
Be careful that the other person can tell if you're not listening, so that he's giving nonverbal cues that you're listening. One of them, of course, is eye contact. With eye contact, you signal that you are listening to them.
While you don't have to stare all the time, maintain eye contact with the speaker about two-thirds to three-quarters of the time he or she is talking.
2. Observe, During the conversation, observe the other person whether they still feel comfortable? One way to always make the person you're talking to feel comfortable with is to pay attention and observe yourself.
Why should you observe yourself? Therefore, your words can make the other person uncomfortable. For that, you must be willing to always make observations with the following steps:
- You always pay attention and take care that the words you will use do not offend your interlocutor,
-. You observe every reaction of your interlocutor when you speak so you know whether they are still comfortable or you have made them uncomfortable with your words,
- If their reaction seems uncomfortable, you shouldn't be defensive, but apologize immediately and change your words.
3. Vocalize, Equally important is how you say something because the way you say it can give a different impression on the mind of the person you are talking to.
What matters is the tone of your voice, pitch can convey a different message if you can't adjust your tone of voice. A deep, low tone of voice can indicate sadness, a high tone of voice can indicate anger or pride.
Likewise with the tempo or speed of sound, you also have to pay attention to it when speaking. Talking quickly can sometimes lead to ambiguity or a rush to end the conversation. On the other hand, speaking slowly and quietly can be a sign of your lack of interest in the person you are talking to. Therefore, you should also pay attention to your vocalizations.
4. Empathy, Again you should not leave this one, you must always empathize with the other person. What is the importance of this? Because people develop positive feelings towards people who understand what they are going through and feeling.
By always being empathetic, you fulfill the other person's need to be recognized and appreciated. This makes them feel good about themselves which in turn makes them feel good about you. The following are points that you must do to always empathize:
1. Avoid talking about topics that cause negative feelings because negative feelings make the other person less like you.
2. Don't complain about your problems, your family, let alone the world's problems. Everyone must have experienced many problems.
3. Be careful not to talk unnecessarily or excessively about yourself as this will make the other person bored and uncomfortable.
4. Take care of your emotions, keep your mind calm, don't be too fiery so that the other person doesn't think too much
Conclusion
You want to know how to look attractive without going overboard? Easy to get along with and make friends with anyone no matter where you are?
Pay attention to the psychological approach that former FBI agent Jack has presented as a way to appear attractive to you. Use 3 friendship cues: “Eyebrow Flash, Smile, and Tilt Head” is already a empathetic statement, can make you easy to be attractive and easy to make friends.
Don't forget, you must also build on the Law of Equality through current experiences, representative experiences, or occasional experiences.
The important thing that you should always take care of is: Always make everyone feel comfortable with you. If that's the case, you should also maintain every communication with anyone with LOVE
With LOVE, you are always willing to listen, observe, control the way you speak and always empathize. That's my writing about How To Look Attractive, Learn From Former FBI Agents, I hope you like it and add to our insight.
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