Ochie Oca

Sunday, June 20, 2021

How to Be a Charismatic Person

How to Be a Charismatic Person
How to Be a Charismatic Person

How to Be a Charismatic Person. Anyone can be a charismatic person, as long as they know how.

This time I will discuss the book The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. This book discusses that being a charismatic person can be learned, and it is not an innate trait.

Interestingly, being charismatic doesn't mean changing who you are entirely. However, adjust it with a set of exercises that suit your current personality.

Charismatic people have a huge impact on the lives of others. Compared to the average person, charismatic people are more attractive, have higher incomes, and have lower stress levels.

And once again, all of that can be learned by everyone, as long as we know what things we must develop to become charismatic individuals.

How to Be a Charismatic Person, Which You Can Try

I've summed it up into three highlights from the book The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane:

First, everyone can have charisma


Who catches your eye when you think about attractive individuals? Maybe you think of a celebrity, friend, or colleague who impressed everyone.

You may also believe that these people were born with the gift of charisma whereas you don't have the right talent or personality to be charismatic.

Luckily this whole thing can be learned. Like any other skill, you can develop a charismatic character no matter how you feel that you have no charisma at all.

Being a charismatic person is not only needed by a leader, but this character can help you in your work and personal life.

How to Be a Charismatic Person
How to Be a Charismatic Person

Charismatic people tend to be more listened to, appreciated, and admired. This perception will help you in real life.

For example, in your working life, charisma will help you get a job, get your ideas heard and adopted, attract new talent, make people want to work with you, and so on.

Whereas in personal life, charisma will help you to influence the environment around you, from family, spouse, friends, to the surrounding community.

Another interesting fact about charisma is that charisma is not something that comes up and is admired all the time. A person may be very charismatic one day and the next day he is just ordinary.

This is because charisma is not like a magical aura that surrounds a person but is the result when a person exhibits certain behaviors. This behavior is nonverbal, so it is shown through body language. This is the reason why someone looks charismatic, because their body language shows it.


For example, the very charismatic celebrity, Marilyn Monroe, seems to be able to change the persona between Marilyn and Norma Jean.

One day, Norma Jean was able to get on the subway without a single passenger realizing who she was. However, when she is on the streets of New York, she can transform into Marilyn. Maybe you are wondering how?

Just by changing her body language, starting from setting different hairstyles and postures, all eyes are on her. It's an often overlooked fact that being a charismatic person is the result of effort until the person eventually becomes able to do it like instinct.

Second, learn to be a charismatic person


Charisma is basically how you make them feel after connecting with you. There are three main components of charisma: presence, power and warmth.

Whatever personality you have, if you can master these three components, then you will become a more charismatic person.

First is presence. This means that you pay close attention when interacting with other people so that your presence remains intact in their presence. Unfortunately, in the modern era, where distractions are common, deep attention is often difficult for many people to learn.

Keep in mind, your full presence cannot be faked. The person you are talking to will immediately notice by subtle signs when your mind is out of focus. In the end, they will feel offended and unappreciated, which will make it difficult for you to build trust with the person.

Second is power. It is a person's perception of how you can influence others. This can come from a variety of factors, ranging from appearance, perception of wealth, skills, and your social status.

The third is warmth. This is someone's perception of your good intentions or they feel you will do something for their good as well.

Interestingly, the history of human survival has always depended on the discovery of strong and kind people. In difficult situations, we always find out if the person will help us and if he or she is capable.

This is why, subconsciously, the combination of power and warmth is very positive in shaping our perception in the eyes of others.

Apart from the charisma component, there are four types of charisma. Not everyone has the same charisma and different situations require different charisma.

First, focus on charisma. This is the type of person who always makes you feel heard and appreciated, because this person is always there as a whole when you are with you.

Second, visionary charisma. This is the type of person who is able to make others believe in something and inspire them to achieve it.

Third, kindness charisma. This is the type of person who is able to make others feel completely accepted without being given any judgment.

Fourth, authority charisma. These are the types of people who make you believe they have the ability to change their lives for the better.

How to Be a Charismatic Person
How to Be a Charismatic Person

The type of charisma above really depends on your personality, your goals, and the current situation. Charismatic people are able to adapt by combining or exchanging types of charisma depending on the situation and conditions they face.

Third, Barriers to cultivating charisma


At first, I discussed that charisma stems from certain body language behaviors. Therefore, we must realize that there are two main things, namely physical and mental discomfort. Sometimes a small discomfort can make a big difference, because it will show in your body language.

There's an example of someone named Tom who is a consultant who nearly lost a four million dollar business opportunity, simply because he was wearing the wrong clothes.

At the time, Tom was wearing a black wool coat, but at the time of the meeting the weather was very hot and Tom was sitting in direct sunlight. He spent the meeting restlessly and squinted at his sitting position against the sun. This behavior is perceived in the client's eyes as a form of anger, disapproval, and discomfort. Naturally, the client began to doubt Tom's abilities.

Next is mental discomfort. Mental discomfort, such as anxiety or self-criticism, can have the same effect. Tom had spent the time before his meeting with mixed feelings considering what the outcome would be. This then makes him anxious and shows in his body language.

These two things are important for you to recognize and pass, to become a more charismatic person. Being a charismatic person can be learned.

Closing

That's my writing about How to Be a Charismatic Person, Being a charismatic person can be learned. By being fully present, being a positive impact on others, and being warm, you can become a charismatic person.

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